so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
