i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
