she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
