If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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