I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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