We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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