Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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