he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
