you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
