I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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