my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
