how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
