Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
