Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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