mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
