Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
