My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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