I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
