Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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