So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
