Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
