ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
