It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
