Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
