the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
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People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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