Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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