Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
