I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
