I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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