I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
