I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize