he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize