butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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