dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
