Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize