porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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