So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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