I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
