He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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