She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
