She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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