he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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