Define "chronic" masturbator.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
