Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
