Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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