i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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