It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
