If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
