I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
