Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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