I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How's work?
Spinning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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