I need help removing her.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
