Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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