Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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