Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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