Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
