i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
