Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is wine microwaveable?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
