just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
