let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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