it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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