1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
