Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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