I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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