ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
